And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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