This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
