what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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