Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
