she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize