A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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