He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize