But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize