Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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