I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
