so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
