Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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