eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
And then he peed in my hair
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