Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
