Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
