Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
