You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
