Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i dont even know how to be here
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
