If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
