I wish I could teleport
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
