I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
