We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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