Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
