I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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