how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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