Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
People in love make me want to vomit
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
