i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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