Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
