Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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(561): View more from Florida

As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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(765): View more from Indiana

You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(317): View more from Indiana

i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties

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(713): View more from Texas

he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"

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(574): View more from Indiana

I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.

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