Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize