I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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