he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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