What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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