So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize