How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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