he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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