the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
