I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
