I feel like abortions should bother me more
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
