All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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