just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
