I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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