Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
