so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Text me some of your sweat
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
