im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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