I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
