So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
