White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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