I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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