I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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