3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
