She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
