I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
