just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
