She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This girl is more easily done than said...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
