Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
