Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
organizing the empties. That sober.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
