Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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