i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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