u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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