theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
