when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
