The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize