So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
