So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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