Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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