Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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