her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
