Someone shit on the floor
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
