Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
