Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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