i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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