so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize