I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
