he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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