we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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