So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
