he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
