Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
