yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
