Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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