I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
