what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize