every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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