No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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