He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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